I had been wanting to write this post for some time now but honestly I felt my anxiety was more under control than not, and then I got hit. Hit with a big fat dose of 'who do you think you are?! being happy! how crazy can you be?-you're not allowed to live an anxiety free life!" I do know these thoughts aren't true, and it's the demon rearing it's ugly head at a vulnerable time in my life. This used to happen to me almost everyday, which is a hard way to live. It makes you sad, hurt and under a dark cloud of unhappiness that you can't always see your way out of. Sometimes I didn't even realize that anxiety was the name of the feeling to explain the desperation that seemed to be seeping through my pores. Nowadays though it is so very rare that when it does come along it forces me to remember what my days used to be like, how I used to feel everyday when I woke up and struggled to live a fulfilling life.
For me anxiety can be the feeling in the pit of your stomach that makes you think things are not going to be okay, that paralyzing feeling that almost makes you throw up from the stress and the constant feeling of 'you're not good enough'. Sometimes when my anxiety used to be so bad and I would feel so nauseous that I would simply go to bed to avoid the feeling. When I woke up things would seem a little brighter and the nausea would be minimal. The best way to handle it? Likely not but when you're in that space sometimes taking some moments to rest can seem like the only way to pull through. I choose now though to pick up my heart from the bottom of my stomach and realize it honestly all will be okay, that it IS okay.
The positive aspect with sharing this and writing about this is that it does help me realize just how far I've come and how more often than not my days are super positive, sometimes even with moments of elation and pure happiness-that demon is silent and not even hiding but is simply gone.
I use a wide range of techniques and products to help me through some of these tougher times so feel free to reach out if you want to know more :)
Wednesday, June 20, 2018
Saturday, January 13, 2018
The life
I've been trying to write a good blog post, that would be worth everyone's time in reading for many months now and finally decided to run with it. There's been so much going on that has rocked my foundation.
The last year has caused me to re-evaluate my life in so many ways, from my relationships (friendships, family, love), to my health, my goals, and what I really want out of life that it was almost too much to share. However, I decided to go with it and see where I landed.
I had been a part of a WE for over four years and then before that for over four years and well you get the idea. Although I had my single times, the majority of my dating life has been spent in relationships. We could talk at length about the positives and negatives of this but I've explored that, meditated on it and arrived to where I am today; being me, myself and I. When you first become just you again, well it can stop you in your tracks. And make you pull back and think, but wait, who indeed am I? What is it that I want? It's quite startling but can be incredibly exciting too!
Things I know about myself that have not changed over the last 10 years; I care deeply about food and what I put in and on my body, I want to help people discover the best version of themselves, I love my friends and family very deeply, I crave travel and all that that means, I love eating vegetables in massive quantities and I want (one day) to get married and have babies. I'm sure there are more things but outlining like that sometimes helps me know that I'm not this lost soul but more that I'm a person with so much gratitude for all the things that I've been blessed to have and all of the experiences that have led me here today.
Then there are times, where it is honestly is just hard. You're on this path that you didn't really think you'd ever be on and you're having all of these new experiences but the most important thing I've found is to stay true to what you want, be upfront with yourself and never be afraid to grow.
I've been on some dates that were better than others, I've been forced out of my comfort zone in the best of ways and I've been seeking someone that speaks to my soul the way I need, want and deserve to have. Each day can bring challenges but another aspect I've learned is to keep the faith, live a life filled with wellness, purpose and abundance and don't be afraid to share. Every time that I dive a bit deep into what I'm thinking or feeling I find it incredibly important to end with an Action Step.
Action step:
Journal, apply release and Palo Santo often and be grateful for every minute.
with light and love,
The last year has caused me to re-evaluate my life in so many ways, from my relationships (friendships, family, love), to my health, my goals, and what I really want out of life that it was almost too much to share. However, I decided to go with it and see where I landed.
I had been a part of a WE for over four years and then before that for over four years and well you get the idea. Although I had my single times, the majority of my dating life has been spent in relationships. We could talk at length about the positives and negatives of this but I've explored that, meditated on it and arrived to where I am today; being me, myself and I. When you first become just you again, well it can stop you in your tracks. And make you pull back and think, but wait, who indeed am I? What is it that I want? It's quite startling but can be incredibly exciting too!
Things I know about myself that have not changed over the last 10 years; I care deeply about food and what I put in and on my body, I want to help people discover the best version of themselves, I love my friends and family very deeply, I crave travel and all that that means, I love eating vegetables in massive quantities and I want (one day) to get married and have babies. I'm sure there are more things but outlining like that sometimes helps me know that I'm not this lost soul but more that I'm a person with so much gratitude for all the things that I've been blessed to have and all of the experiences that have led me here today.
Then there are times, where it is honestly is just hard. You're on this path that you didn't really think you'd ever be on and you're having all of these new experiences but the most important thing I've found is to stay true to what you want, be upfront with yourself and never be afraid to grow.
I've been on some dates that were better than others, I've been forced out of my comfort zone in the best of ways and I've been seeking someone that speaks to my soul the way I need, want and deserve to have. Each day can bring challenges but another aspect I've learned is to keep the faith, live a life filled with wellness, purpose and abundance and don't be afraid to share. Every time that I dive a bit deep into what I'm thinking or feeling I find it incredibly important to end with an Action Step.
Action step:
Journal, apply release and Palo Santo often and be grateful for every minute.
with light and love,
Thursday, July 13, 2017
Oola for Women Challenge Day #4
Oola for Women Challenge Day #4!! I cried when I read this challenge, not that it takes a lot for me to cry (folgers commercials anyone?!) but this one struck home for me. First, this challenge is about Field, maybe it's not your field, but all of us know a Stay-At-Home mom. There continues to be negative thoughts surrounding what a stay at home mom does all day (even if you'd think by these days this would be a moot point, not the case!), even for those that know one or more of them! Stay at home moms often get asked, 'what do you do all day?' or 'don't you miss working?' or 'wow, you get to stay home all day that must not be that hard!' However, most of us that know a stay-at-home mom, have been one, have been raised by one or are close with one know that it can honestly be one of the most difficult and stressful jobs out there. But with that stress and difficulties comes the amazing and rewarding responsibility of shaping your child's life in a way they never forget. My mother was a stay-at-home mom for a time after she's left her job as a VP at Citibank, a decision that my dad and her came to after evaluating each of their jobs at the time and which made the most sense to leave. It was never a 'the woman will stay home' thing, it was a financial and career driven decision (which I ALWAYS appreciated as it showed what a progressive and feminist household I had the privilege of growing up in). -cue more tears as I type this :)
So today's official challenge is to acknowledge and appreciate a stay-at-home mom! I actually want to throw dad's in here too, because there are an ever growing number of stay at home dad's that have their own set of struggles as well. For this challenge, I called my mother again and told her how thankful I was for everything she did for my sister and I while we were growing up, we would not be the women we are today without her (and obviously dad too!). So maybe she isn't a current stay-at-home mom since my sister and I are long out of the house but she truly shaped our childhood in so many ways. I have such vivid memories of when we'd all be playing outside and my mother was inside working; whether that was making sure we had food to eat or clothing to wear or a clean house to live in, she made it happen!
Because this challenge was such an emotional one I felt I needed some Dragontime to combat the tears-I guess I thought my hormones were a little off? :)
Who did you reach out to today? And what oil did you use while doing it?
So today's official challenge is to acknowledge and appreciate a stay-at-home mom! I actually want to throw dad's in here too, because there are an ever growing number of stay at home dad's that have their own set of struggles as well. For this challenge, I called my mother again and told her how thankful I was for everything she did for my sister and I while we were growing up, we would not be the women we are today without her (and obviously dad too!). So maybe she isn't a current stay-at-home mom since my sister and I are long out of the house but she truly shaped our childhood in so many ways. I have such vivid memories of when we'd all be playing outside and my mother was inside working; whether that was making sure we had food to eat or clothing to wear or a clean house to live in, she made it happen!
Because this challenge was such an emotional one I felt I needed some Dragontime to combat the tears-I guess I thought my hormones were a little off? :)
Who did you reach out to today? And what oil did you use while doing it?
#OolaforWomen Challenge
Wednesday, July 12, 2017
Oola for Women Challenge Day #3
Day #3 of the Oola for Women Challenge! Each day brings a new challenge, not just with the Oola for Women Challenge but with life, with time management, with, well....everything. Some days there just isn't very much that is easy. Each day on this challenge I'm forced to stop and think about some Oola aspect of my life, and this has been helpful albeit hard. It helps me take time out of my day and really focus on the important things in life and not the small details that get in the way sometimes.
Today's challenge was about the F in Family. Often women give their complete and utter all to those they are in a relationship with, to their parents, to their children and tend to forget about themselves. It's important to keep the relationship with yourself healthy too! The challenge puts it so perfectly, "We go, go, go and do, do, do for all the people and responsibilities we have in our lives that it sometimes becomes easy to get caught up in all of these relationships, spread ourselves thing and feel a little disconnected." So the actual challenge for today is to take time to connect and enjoy each other's company. In other words think about a relationship you've let slide or someone that might need you to reach out a little more or that coffee date you've been meaning to have and GO OUT AND HAVE IT! Reconnect, you'll feel great and so will they! I have been meaning to call my mother the last few days and so that was my way to reconnect to a relationship. (Not that it had been very long since we spoke but we used to talk everyday :)
While completing this challenge I put on some joy, because literally it makes me feel joyous and speaking to my family often makes me feel joyous!
Who did you reconnect with? And what oil did you use while doing it?
#OolaforWomen Challenge
Today's challenge was about the F in Family. Often women give their complete and utter all to those they are in a relationship with, to their parents, to their children and tend to forget about themselves. It's important to keep the relationship with yourself healthy too! The challenge puts it so perfectly, "We go, go, go and do, do, do for all the people and responsibilities we have in our lives that it sometimes becomes easy to get caught up in all of these relationships, spread ourselves thing and feel a little disconnected." So the actual challenge for today is to take time to connect and enjoy each other's company. In other words think about a relationship you've let slide or someone that might need you to reach out a little more or that coffee date you've been meaning to have and GO OUT AND HAVE IT! Reconnect, you'll feel great and so will they! I have been meaning to call my mother the last few days and so that was my way to reconnect to a relationship. (Not that it had been very long since we spoke but we used to talk everyday :)
While completing this challenge I put on some joy, because literally it makes me feel joyous and speaking to my family often makes me feel joyous!
Who did you reconnect with? And what oil did you use while doing it?
#OolaforWomen Challenge
Tuesday, July 11, 2017
Oola for Women Challenge Day #2
Day #2 of the Oola for Women Challenge! When I first read this challenge I didn't want to face it as it's hands down my #1 stressor right now, to learn something new about money. This challenge plays into the Finance aspect of the 7 F's of Oola and is of course important but I'd really like to not deal with finance! School loans have put the damper on my financial situation that I will one day be out of but for now it's a bit hard to see the light! Which means I need to focus some good energy on it all and complete this challenge.
So this helped me dive a bit deeper into my financial situation. I learned from a very good friend of mine that within the feng shui way of thinking having your money all over your apartment can actually literally cause your money to be everywhere, and not organized at all! So I hadn't heard this theory before but it really hit home for me and for some reason it seemed to make a lot of sense! I am going to try to clean up all my change that is haphazardly laid around the apartment and put it in one central place-that will help me feel more organized if nothing else! This same friend also pointed out that by not dealing with my money head on as I used to (I keep a really organized bills spreadsheet!) I was adding to my anxiety level. So with this (seemingly obvious) aspect of financial health I loaded up my spreadsheet again and got everything organized, the relief was palpable! So these are the two aspects of finance I looked at, nothing super hardcore like understanding deep economic principles but I felt better after looking deeper at both of these aspects and that was the challenge, to feel better!
While working on this challenge I had to use copious amounts of lavender to keep my heart rate under control and my anxiety from taking over as financial situations will often do this to me.
What financial aspect did you learn about? And what oil did you use while doing it?
#OolaforWomen Challenge
So this helped me dive a bit deeper into my financial situation. I learned from a very good friend of mine that within the feng shui way of thinking having your money all over your apartment can actually literally cause your money to be everywhere, and not organized at all! So I hadn't heard this theory before but it really hit home for me and for some reason it seemed to make a lot of sense! I am going to try to clean up all my change that is haphazardly laid around the apartment and put it in one central place-that will help me feel more organized if nothing else! This same friend also pointed out that by not dealing with my money head on as I used to (I keep a really organized bills spreadsheet!) I was adding to my anxiety level. So with this (seemingly obvious) aspect of financial health I loaded up my spreadsheet again and got everything organized, the relief was palpable! So these are the two aspects of finance I looked at, nothing super hardcore like understanding deep economic principles but I felt better after looking deeper at both of these aspects and that was the challenge, to feel better! 
While working on this challenge I had to use copious amounts of lavender to keep my heart rate under control and my anxiety from taking over as financial situations will often do this to me.
What financial aspect did you learn about? And what oil did you use while doing it?
#OolaforWomen Challenge
Monday, July 10, 2017
Oola for Women Challenge Day #1
Day #1 of the Oola for Women Challenge! It has taken me a bit of time to get started on this challenge as I was dealing with a lot right when I returned from Utah, but in reality when are most of us not dealing with a lot? So today begins the Oola challenge, because who doesn't want to feel more positive and be more at peace? The challenge today is to walk or run for 7 minutes and during those 7 minutes come up with 7 things that you love most about yourself. I read this challenge and couldn't be happier to complete it as I love to run and I know that it might help to look at the positives about myself. Here are the positives I came up with (this was much harder than I thought it was going to be when I first read the challenge!)1) I am able to run faster miles then ever before thanks for my essential oils and food habits so I love that I opened my mind to learning new things about health and wellness
2) I try my best to help as many people as possible
3) I want to help everyone in the world!
4) I care about animals and try to save as many as possible
5) I try to remember that simply because I'm grateful for all I have doesn't mean I have to feel guilty about it!
6) I am kind to others
7) I try to love with all of my heart
After typing these out, I honestly wish I had better things to say about myself. I think that this was the point of this exercise, to take a deeper look at what is good within yourself and what you can improve. As I mention all over my social media I use peppermint oil constantly for staying awake and refreshed and as well as before every workout without fail. For this challenge this was no exception! Looking forward to the next challenge!
#OolaforWomen Challenge
Wednesday, July 5, 2017
OOLA Women!
Hi everyone! I just got back from Young Living International Convention in Salt Lake City, Utah! There are so many things that went on over the days I spent in Utah I could break up this blog into 5 or more pieces! So for now we'll start with a challenge I want to complete.
I was lucky enough to see some of my favorite people ever speak at convention, Dr. Dave (the OolaSeeker) and Dr. Troy (the OolaGuru). I first read their International Best Selling book, Oola: Find Balance in an Unbalanced World about a year ago and it really pointed out the aspects of what in my life was unbalanced. The word oola stems from the world Ooh LaLa, which is a flippant way to express surprise and excitement! Oo-la is defined as that state of awesomeness. It is when your life is balanced and growing in the seven key areas of life - the 7 F's of Oola (fitness, finance, family, field (career), faith, friends and fun).
CHANGING THE WORLD WITH A WORD
The OolaGuys are on a mission to change the world with a word (#Oola) by collecting 1,000,000 dreams in the form of handwritten stickers on the side of a vintage 1970 VW Surf Bus. They guys promote that by removing the stress from life (especially when you're out of balance as many of us are) you can reveal the greatness and purpose that is inside all of us. This can lead to a better you which makes for a better family, a better community and therefore a better world. So now to go on and talk about the actual free 21-day #OolaforWomen Challenge! The free challenge is designed to spur positive action in your life and inspire and empower women to achieve a life of less stress and more balance. The challenge is 21 days of mini challenges that are sent to your email every morning. These might help you do things you never thought you'd do which means you might have to up your courage level!
So.......
EACH DAILY CHALLENGE WILL INCLUDE:
- A graphic and motivational quote to inspire.
- A detailed challenge to complete for the day.
So to end this post, I'm going to be posting everyday of how I completed the challenge of the day and what kind of changes I've been noticing by doing this! I will also share each oil that I use during each challenge. I'm hoping by posting my daily challenge that people will find some inspiration in doing this with me!
#OolaforWomen Challenge
#OolaforWomen Challenge
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